


Revelations

by starlightwalking



Series: the world as we know it [13]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: (its own particular brand), Accidental Incest, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Caedsexual Maedhros, Drama-monster Parents, Family Drama, Family Infighting, Finwean family drama, Gen, IT'S REVEAL TIME Y'ALL!!!, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Phone Calls, Trans Fingon, relationship drama, supportive parents, text conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:29:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27441970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/pseuds/starlightwalking
Summary: Fingon finally takes Maedhros to meet his family. Meeting the parents is difficult enough, but when an unexpected relation is thrown in the mix, their lives and their relationship are turned upside down.
Relationships: Fingolfin | Ñolofinwë & Fingon | Findekáno, Fingolfin | Ñolofinwë & Maedhros | Maitimo, Fingolfin | Ñolofinwë & Nerdanel, Fingon | Findekáno & Nerdanel, Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo, Fëanor | Curufinwë & Fingon | Findekáno, Fëanor | Curufinwë & Maedhros | Maitimo, Maedhros | Maitimo & Maglor | Makalaurë, Maedhros | Maitimo & Nerdanel
Series: the world as we know it [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651942
Comments: 35
Kudos: 52
Collections: Anna's Trans Anthology





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for the mountain of relationship tags, but they're all very important!
> 
> General CW for incest, but not of the closely-related kind.
> 
> Alright...here we are!! This has been a looong time coming, I hope it's worth the wait!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family secrets come to light...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this verse, Indis and Ingwë are not related.
> 
> CW for a brief allusion to racist violence.

**Nerdanel Redding:  
** Hi Nolo, I’m in town, do you mind if I stop by for dinner?

 **Nolo Smith:  
** Oh, sure! Fingon’s coming home too, actually, to introduce us to his boyfriend :)

 **Nerdanel Redding:  
** Aw, how sweet. I’d love to catch up with him, and meet the boyfriend, too!

* * *

“I’m nervous,” Maedhros admitted. “I’m sure your family is great, but...”

Fingon gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “No, I get it. I was nervous to meet your dad, too. It’s not easy. But you’ll do great—and you won’t be the only guest there, either. One of our family friends is in town, Dad says.”

“Okay.” Maedhros took a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

“You’ve got this,” Fingon assured, and Maedhros knocked on the door.

Footsteps. Maedhros pinched the webbing between his thumb and forefinger to distract himself from the anxiety bubbling in his stomach. The doorknob shook. He closed his eyes, collecting himself.

The door opened. Maedhros’ eyes followed suit.

His mouth fell open.

“Hi, Nerdë!” Fingon said cheerfully. “Nice to see you!”

“Nerdë” just stared.

Maedhros began to sweat.

“Maedhros, this Nerdanel Redding,” Fingon introduced. “She’s basically like an aunt to us.” He frowned, glancing between Maedhros and Nerdanel. “Maedhros...? Nerdanel...?”

“ _Mom?!_ ” Maedhros croaked out.

Fingon choked. “What?”

“Russ?” Nerdanel said, a little choked herself. “What’s going on? Why are you here? Surely your father hasn’t...” Her eyes trailed to Fingon, and she lifted a hand to her mouth. “Oh, lord. Fingon. Your boyfriend—isn’t...Russ, is he?”

Fingon leaned against Maedhros. “Uh...Maedhros is my boyfriend, yeah.” He looked up to Maedhros. “Wait, Nerdanel is your _mom_?”

“Um,” Maedhros said, unable to form a sentence more coherent.

“Russ, how did you—why did—” Nerdanel groaned. “You’re dating your _cousin_?”

“ _Cousin_?!” Maedhros yelped, and Fingon let go of him, wide-eyed.

“Hey, Nerdë, is everything...” More footsteps. Now a second person joined her in the doorway: a tall man with dark hair and Fingon’s eyes. He smiled, saying, “Finno! And this must be—”

But then he, too, caught sight of Maedhros, and his face went ashen.

“Cousin?” Maedhros whispered again.

“How about we go inside?” Fingon’s father suggested faintly. “Maedhros, it’s...well, I can’t say I expected you to be little Russ, but, ah, it’s nice to see you again. Oh—I’m Nolo, by the way. Nolo Smith.”

And then it clicked in Maedhros’ head. Nolo Smith. He’d heard that name before, growled by his dad in fits of rage, shouted by his mother in their fights before the divorce...

Fingon’s father was Nolo Smith. And Nolo Smith was Fëanor’s brother.

* * *

Nolo shepherded them into the living room. A dark-skinned woman with a bright smile (Fingon’s mother?) appeared to say hello, but Nolo drew her aside and whispered to her for a moment. Her smile faltered as her eyes flicked to Maedhros—he _really_ didn’t like the way people were looking at him now—and she left the room, calling out, “Arno! Turno! Elenwë! How about we go outside for a little bit...”

“Russ,” Nerdanel said, sitting down on a chair across from where Maedhros and Fingon sat on the couch. Maedhros ached to hold Finno, to have something to cling onto now that his world was getting turned upside down, but Fingon had put a good foot of space between them.

“I can’t—I don’t understand.” Nerdanel massaged her temples. “What possessed you to date your cousin? I thought you were on good terms with your father, it can’t be to—to upset him—”

“Maedhros isn’t—” Fingon huffed. “I mean. I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re...we’re not cousins. Nerdë, you’re Mae’s mom? But you’re not related to my parents, you’re not _actually_ my aunt, I...”

“Technically,” Nolo said quietly, “ _technically_...you’re step-cousins.”

“What?” Fingon said. “We’re—what?”

“Fëanor Smith,” Maedhros said, feeling very far away from the world around him. “That’s my dad.”

“So?” Fingon demanded. “Lots of people have the last name Smith, that doesn’t mean anything.”

“Fëanor _Curufin_ Smith,” Nolo expounded darkly, and Fingon’s eyes widened in recognition.

“ _Oh_ ,” Fingon said, shrinking into the couch cushions. “Your...step-brother.”

Maedhros’ head was spinning. “Wait. Okay. Let me get this straight. You’re the Nolo who ruined Dad’s life?”

“Is he _still_ going on about that?” Nerdanel snapped.

“No!” Maedhros said. “I mean—not often? But...”

“Mae... _your dad_ is the Curufin who deserted our family?” Fingon said in a strangled voice. “I thought...I didn’t...but he was so _nice_.”

“Deserted!” Maedhros exclaimed. “Dad didn’t—”

“Please, please,” Nerdanel interrupted. “Let’s—this is a shock to all of us. Please, let’s not fight. None of this is you kids’ fault.”

“Sorry, Finno,” Mae said, leaning over to give him a hug. Finno leaned into his touch, but they both moved back fairly quickly.

 _Cousins._ Maedhros shuddered, unable to think of anything but all the times he and Fingon had had sex. Fingon had sucked him off this morning. Literally the night before he’d ridden Fingon’s cock; his ass was still sore from the strap-on dildo hitting home again and again. A week and a half ago, after Maedhros’ graduation ceremony, they’d finally decided to try having Maedhros on top. They’d used protection, of course, but he’d still been inside of Finno’s—

 _Cousins_. But—Maedhros loved him, was _in love_ with him— Was he going to lose Fingon? Would everything be ruined now?

_Cousins._

_Step_ -cousins, admittedly. That wasn’t so bad. Was it?

“Can you please just...explain from the beginning?” Fingon said in a strained voice.

“Okay,” Nolo said. “Alright. Well. I guess the beginning is...” He sighed. “My father—step-father, technically, I suppose, but to me he was always just my father—my father, Finwë Smith, married a woman named Míriel Serindë. They had a son, Fëanor Curufin Smith. When we were kids, he went by Curufin. I admit that is still how I think of him, though he goes by his first name now.”

“That’s what Junior goes by at school,” Maedhros muttered. “And to people who aren’t his immediate family. Curufin.”

“And then Míriel died,” Nolo said. “It was tragic—she was so young, and with a baby... Curufin—I mean Fëanor, he was only a year old.”

“We’re still not exactly sure what happened,” Nerdanel murmured. “It was...she started feeling ill after the baby was born. The doctors never quite figure out what it was; medicine wasn’t as advanced then as it is now.”

“Meanwhile, my mother, Indis Long, had married Ingwë Vanyar. Ingwë was Finwë’s first cousin, on their grandmother’s side. Indis and Ingwë had two children: Faniel, my older sister—she’s Glorfindel’s mother, Finno—and myself. Nolo Argon Vanyar.”

“Did Ingwë die too?” Maedhros asked.

“No,” Nolo said. “But that grandmother did. Indis and Ingwë had fallen out of love and divorced, but she took us—mostly Faniel, I was practically a newborn—to our great-grandma’s funeral. Finwë was there too, and, well...they met, and fell in love.”

“A year later they were married,” Nerdanel said. “Fëanor was seven at the time. He wasn’t happy about it. He still isn’t.”

“I was only a year old,” Nolo said. “But Faniel was six. She remembers our father much better than I do; she’s always been closer to Ingwë’s side of the family.”

He sighed. “Faniel left our step-brother alone for the most part. She doesn’t really see him as family. She never really got involved in any of the drama. But I was just a baby, and Curufin couldn’t get away from me. I took all the attention away from him. He hated me. He still does.”

“So...you’re step-brothers,” Maedhros repeated. “Which makes Finno and I...step-cousins.”

“Well, Curufin and I are...some kind of cousins, too, through Ingwë and Finwë’s relation.” Nolo shrugged. “Second cousins, I believe. So you _are_ blood related, too. Just...not as close as you could’ve been.”

Nerdanel pulled out her phone. “Let me look it up...”

“I...knew this story already,” Fingon admitted, “but hearing it again is...that’s messed up. You didn’t do anything to him, Dad!”

Maedhros bit his lip. He wanted to rush in and defend his father, but...

“Got it,” Nerdanel said, putting away her phone. “Third cousins. You’re third cousins, and step-first cousins.”

“But...” Maedhros laughed nervously. “That’s not...that doesn’t mean anything, really, right? Like, dating your third cousin isn’t really a big deal?”

Nerdanel and Nolo and Fingon looked at him. Maedhros was sure the back of his neck was drenched in sweat by now.

“And it’s not like—sure, we’re step-cousins, but we didn’t grow up together—” Maedhros was grasping for something, anything, that would make it all okay. That would mean he and Finno could stay together. That would mean he wasn’t a disgusting freak for—for being attracted to Fingon. The _only_ person he was attracted to, after everything with Mairon.

“Russ,” Nerdanel said, and _damn._ If she’d ever mentioned him around Fingon’s family before it would be by that name, the one she called him, not Maedhros, of course they wouldn’t have known... “Do you remember that picture on your wall, when you were a kid? With you reading a book to your little cousin?”

“Yeah?” Maedhros said. “Why do you...oh.” He swallowed.

“That was Fingon,” Nerdanel said gently.

Maedhros summoned the picture in his mind: him, a little three-year-old redhead, with a baby on his lap, a book in front of them. He had a very serious expression on his face—he’d been very proud he was already learning to read when he was only three—and his cousin had looked up at him with a big smile on her face.

No. _His_ face. But no one had known that at the time.

“Oh,” Maedhros said. “Yeah. That.” He looked to Fingon helplessly. “You’re...yeah. Okay.”

Fingon bristled. “What, I’m trans?” he snapped. “So you didn’t put two and two together?”

“I mean...yes?” Maedhros said hesitantly. “And—it’s not like my dad ever talked about you—”

“But _I_ did,” Nerdanel interrupted. “I know that I told you when Fingon changed his name. Don’t you remember?”

“I...” Now that she said it, he kind of did. He remembered a conversation at the dinner table a long time ago, before the twins had been born, about a cousin changing his name to Fingon. Deciding not to be a girl. And...when he’d met Fingon, hadn’t the thought crossed his mind about a cousin with that name? But...Fingon and Smith were both fairly common names, he hadn’t seriously thought—

“God,” Fingon groaned, letting his face fall into his hand. “This is just—fuck. I wanted to introduce my boyfriend to my parents and my siblings and—now I find out we’ve been _related_ this whole time—and worse, your dad, Fëanor, who I’ve _met_ , he didn’t recognize me _either_ , and if he had he’d have kicked me out on the curb—”

Maedhros couldn’t help himself. “My dad _likes_ you, Finno,” he insisted. “He even said—” He cut off, heart in his throat. This was not the time.

But Fingon was going to _make_ it the time, apparently. “What?” he demanded, turning to face him with tears in his eyes. “What did he say about me, huh? Something awful?”

Maedhros trembled, looking down at his hands. “He even said I should...I should ask you to—to marry me.”

Silence. Maedhros felt the burning stares of their parents on his neck. He couldn’t bear himself to look up, at them or at Fingon.

“Fuck, Mae,” Fingon rasped. “Are you seriously...proposing right now? Like this?”

Maedhros opened his mouth, but Fingon continued before he could say anything: “I can’t fucking believe you. That’s not going to just—fix everything—”

“No, I—” Maedhros stammered— “I’m not, I just—we’ve talked about this before, Fin, Dad was just—giving his approval of you! He said that last week, after I—before we—”

“Before we _fucked_?” Fingon cried out, jumping to his feet. “Before I let you—for the first time in—since I lived in _this fucking house_ —!”

Maedhros dreaded to think what the looks on their parents’ faces were like. Like, boyfriends for a year, and it wasn’t as if Nerdanel really knew how fucked up Maedhros had been after Mairon, they must have guessed they’d been fucking, but to just—come out and say that—and god, they were _cousins_...

“Fingon,” he said helplessly, reaching out, his heart breaking, “Finno, babe—”

“I—I can’t deal with this right now.” Fingon turned away, tears streaming down his face. “I need some fresh air. I’m going for a walk.”

“Finno, please—” Maedhros begged.

“We’ll talk,” Fingon said, still not looking at him. “I promise you, we will talk. But right now I need some space.”

“Alright,” Maedhros whispered. “Okay. Take—take the time you need.”

“Be safe,” Nolo said softly. “Don’t go far.”

“I’m not an idiot, Dad, I know what can happen to boys who look like me,” Fingon snapped, tugging at his curls.

“Finno...” Nolo sighed, but Fingon stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.

Maedhros stared after him, feeling as if all his happiness had walked out with him. How was it that only a week ago he’d finally felt like maybe he could learn to appreciate himself, that maybe Fingon really was going to stay forever? Now that dream felt a world away.

“Well,” Nerdanel said wryly, “this is not the happy family reunion I’d been hoping would happen eventually.”

“No kidding,” Maedhros said hollowly. “Guess I’m an incestuous pervert on top of everything else now.”

“I don’t—” Nolo began, then sighed. “Don’t beat yourself up, Russ. You didn’t know. And...frankly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you two...being together.”

Maedhros snorted. “We’re—cousins.”

“ _Step_ -cousins,” Nolo corrected, in the same moment Nerdanel said, “ _Third_ cousins.”

Maedhros suppressed a cynical laugh. He leaned back on the couch, looking up at his mother and his—his _uncle_. They didn’t look...disgusted, or disappointed. They looked...sympathetic.

“I don’t know if I can take it if I lose him,” Maedhros admitted, to both himself and them. “These past few years...were really rough. Fingon...made it all better.” He looked awkwardly at Nolo. “I know we’ve only just met...”

“Son, I changed your diapers.” Nolo chuckled quietly. “You’re already family.”

Maedhros groaned. “That’s...not helping.”

“You really love him, don’t you?” Nerdanel murmured.

Maedhros wiped away a tear. “God, yes. More than I ever thought I could...I could love someone. My—my last boyfriend, before Finno, he...after him, I thought, never again. But Finno is...perfect. He’s—everything I could dream of, and more. And for some reason he loves me too. Or...he did.”

“He still does,” Nolo said. “Somehow in all this he forgot to mention your full name to me, he only ever called you ‘Mae’...but when we’ve talked, he’s crazy about you. You’ve been good for him, as much as he’s been good for you. He just needs some time to process.”

“You really think so?” Maedhros bit his lip. He couldn’t stop the desperate hope welling up within him, when he knew by all rights he should be in utter despair. But it was Fingon, after all, who had taught him to hope again.

Then another thought struck him. “ _Fuck_. Dad’s going to have an aneurysm when he finds out.”

“Oh, god,” Nerdanel grumbled. “You’re right. This is not a good way to...ease you kids back into the greater Smith family. I’d hoped, maybe a small reunion, with the more reasonable of my sons... You know, you and Mags and maybe the twins...and then Fingon and Argon...throw in Ara’s kids, too, Finrod at least...”

“Ara?” Maedhros asked.

“I didn’t finish the story, did I?” Nolo realized. “Yes. Indis and Finwë had two children together, Lalwen and Ara. Curufin...Fëanor, I mean, he focused most of his resentment onto me, but he was not fond of them, either.”

Maedhros still couldn’t let go of his belief in his father, even despite knowing the other side of the story, now. “Why did you...you know? Dad left all of you for a reason. Why did you do what you did?”

“Russ,” Nolo said seriously, leaning forward, “I promise you: it was an accident. I really had no idea that could get him fired. I wasn’t trying to supplant him, not at all—I didn’t even apply for the job when he was let go—”

“Hon, your father overreacted. Immensely.” Nerdanel scowled. “I regret not standing up to him when it happened, and then after that...it was too late. I wish...I wish you boys could’ve grown up with more family.”

“Well,” Nolo said with forced cheer, “at least you and Finno are close now.”

“But are we? Still?” Maedhros rubbed his cheek. “I’m—terrified. I can’t lose him...”

“I’ve heard the way he talks about you,” Nolo said. “He can’t bear to lose you, either.”

Maedhros shook his head, still barely believing he was being so...understanding. “And you really...support this? Us? Even though...?”

“I...can’t say I’m not shocked,” Nolo admitted. “And I think you both have the right to be upset. If you do break things off, I would understand. But I don’t think your...relation is so serious that you _need_ to do that. Even if, ah, you do end up...married. Or even having a child together.”

Nerdanel blinked. “Oh. Yes. That could...”

That was the last of Maedhros’ concerns at the moment; he doubted Fingon would’ve wanted that even before all this. And yeah, sure, they’d discussed their relationship being long term, and he’d brought up marriage, _once_ , but...

“I’m not—” he said quickly— “we haven’t even—we’ve been dating a year, marriage is still—I mean, yes, I thought we wanted this to be...always. I thought this was the one. We’re taking things slow, still, but I guess I did think, eventually...”

“Baby,” Nerdanel sighed, coming over to sit next to him, wrapping her arm around him. Maedhros fell into his mother’s embrace, suddenly unable to believe he’d beared to be apart from her for so long. “You can still have that, Russ. With him. You just need to talk it out.”

“But what about Dad?” he whispered.

“I’ll deal with your father,” Nerdanel said, a bit of iron creeping into her voice.

“Nerdë...” Nolo said warningly.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mom,” Maedhros agreed.

“No,” Nerdanel insisted. “I’ve put up with his nonsense long enough.”

“Mom, you _divorced_ him over that,” Maedhros reminded her. “You haven’t put up with it since then. Please, just...he’s a good dad. We all love him. We love you, too, and we miss you...but please don’t go ballistic on Dad. I’m the one who should...break the news.”

Maedhros remembered something else, and winced. “Damn. No wonder we had the same last name.” He looked up at Nolo. “Although...um—Uncle Nolo? If Ingwë was your father, why...”

“Just Nolo is fine,” he said. “And yes, I have Finwë’s last name. Mother changed our names with hers, though I don’t think that’s necessarily standard practice. Faniel changed hers back to Vanyar when she married her wife; she never really felt connected to this family. But I was raised as Finwë’s son; I barely knew Ingwë. He left the country shortly after he left my mother.”

There came a knock at the wall. Fingon’s mother poked her head into the room.

“Hey there,” she said, smiling to Maedhros. “I’m Anairë, Finno’s mom. Dinner is almost done. Is the meal still on, or...?”

“Finno went for a walk,” Nolo explained. “He needed some space. I don’t know when he’ll be back.”

“Even if he comes back soon, I...” Maedhros sighed. “Maybe dinner tonight isn’t the best idea. I can...get a hotel? We were planning on staying here, but...maybe I should...”

“Don’t let this fester, Russ,” Nerdanel advised. “If you think you should get a hotel, do, but not without him.”

“Alright,” Anairë said. “Well, if you two decide you’d like to give this a second run, just let me know, alright? I’m happy to cook for you boys, any time.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Maedhros said, ducking his head. He hoped there _would_ be a second run. He hoped Fingon would give him a second chance. But for now...he had to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Findis is called Faniel here (in HoME, that was a discarded name for a daughter of Finwë); Nolo isn’t Nolofinwë, just Nolo - this is because Finwë is not their bio father, so it wouldn’t make sense for them to have his name as part of their names.
> 
> For more on Nerdanel, check out the first installment in this series!
> 
> Also - things might look a bit depressing here, but I PROMISE this has a happy ending :) Hang in there...the next chapter will be up tomorrow!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maedhros and Fingon work things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maglor hates that he’s “The Music Man” in Mae’s contacts, but there’s nothing he can do about it.
> 
> In this verse, Manwë is president.

**Maedhros Smith:  
** mags you’re not gonna fucking believe this

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** what

**Maedhros Smith:  
** there literally isn’t any way to say this that doesn’t sound insane  
but

**Maedhros Smith:  
** fuck I’m not over it

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** bro you good?

**Maedhros Smith:  
** I don’t know

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** is it Fingon? Did you two break up?

**Maedhros Smith:  
** I don’t know

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** shit. Do you wanna call?

**Maedhros Smith:  
** not right now.

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** you still wanna tell me whatever it is?

**Maedhros Smith:  
** I need to tell /someone/

**Maedhros Smith:  
** okay  
I went to meet finno’s family, right? But when I knocked on the door guess who was there

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** who, fucking Manwë súlimo?

**Maedhros Smith:  
** honestly that would’ve been less of a shock  
it was mom

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** mom??? Our mother?? Who birthed us??

**Maedhros Smith:  
** yeah

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** is she  
is she like. Dating Fingon’s dad or something??

**Maedhros Smith:  
** um

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** oh my god she is isn’t she

**Maedhros Smith:  
** no! She’s not. But you’re kind of too close for comfort

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** I’m dying just tell me

**Maedhros Smith:  
** she’s a family friend. Actually she’s just family. We’re family.

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
**???

**Maedhros Smith:  
** Fingon’s dad is Nolo Smith. Dads step brother. The one who caused...the Incident?

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** holy shit

**Maedhros Smith:  
** yeah. So. Finno is...our cousin.

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** step cousin

**Maedhros Smith:  
** and our third cousin  
Nolo’s bio dad is grandpa Finwë’s first cousin

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** damn  
how are you taking this?

**Maedhros Smith:  
** Finno ran off. Said he needed some space. Mom and Nolo are really chill about it though? They said they support us  
I’m afraid that Fingon wants to break up

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** dude I saw the way you are together. He loves you.

**Maedhros Smith:  
** I thought so  
but now...  
is it fucked up that I still want him? Even though we’re cousins?

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** nah.  
people did it all the time in the old days. Cousin marriage is still legal in a lot of places  
and your genetic relation is pretty distant. Plus you didn’t even know when you got together  
it is freaky though, to find out like this

**Maedhros Smith:  
** I guess I’d rather have our relationship be a little weird than not have it at all

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** I’m here if you need to talk. We don’t have a gig tomorrow so you can call whenever, even in the middle of the night

**Maedhros Smith:  
** thanks mags  
even if Finno wants me still. Im afraid of what Dad is gonna think.

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** shit man. I would be too.

**Maedhros Smith:  
** Mom says hi btw

**The Music Man** **🎺🎶:  
** this is surreal

**Maedhros Smith:  
** you’re telling me

* * *

It only took a few minutes of walking alone for Fingon to be overcome with shame. What kind of idiot abandoned his family at a time like this? Sure, the family was in and of itself the problem, but Nerdanel and Nolo were good people, and Maedhros—

_Maedhros._ His _cousin_ , Maedhros. Whom he’d fucked. Multiple times. With great enthusiasm. Whom he thought he loved. Enough to marry him, maybe. Whom he _still_ loved, damn it all.

He knew he’d been too harsh. Sure, there was a reason he was so upset, but...Maedhros deserved better than him stomping off in a rage. He deserved better than Fingon accusing him of—of proposing as a way of deflecting the real issues, when clearly that wasn’t what he’d been doing. He deserved better than—than Fingon himself, maybe.

_What would he say if he heard you acting like this?_ he berated himself. After all the time he spent insisting that Maedhros deserved his love, deserved to love himself, now here _Fingon_ was being a hypocrite.

And...he knew, deep down, that there was no one else for Maedhros. Just him. Just Fingon. Sometimes that brought him a thrill of pride, of joy, that of all the people Maedhros could choose, he’d picked _him_. But now the same thought made him want to cry.

Of all the people he could’ve chosen...he’d picked Fingon. His cousin. Step-cousin, sure, but Fingon wasn’t the kind of person to discount his father’s deep connection and love to Grandpa Finwë because of a technicality like that.

Still...could that technicality be enough to make everything okay? If Fingon excused away the incest because of that, would he be diminishing his connection to his grandfather? He’d never met Ingwë Vanyar, and Anairë’s father had died when she was young. Finwë Smith was the only grandfather he’d ever known.

Fingon’s feet took him to the edge of the neighborhood. He hesitated, considering walking further, but decided against it. He’d promised not to go far, after all, and...he needed to go back. To talk things out. To make things right with Maedhros. His boyfriend. His cousin.

When he made it back to the house, Nerdanel and Maedhros sat talking quietly on the front porch. Nerdanel, his auntie, who he now knew was _actually his aunt_. Or...maybe not, since she’d divorced Fëanor? But she was still his cousin’s mother.

Huh. Not just Maedhros’ mother—Maglor’s and Celegorm’s and Caranthir’s and Junior’s and the twins’ mother, too. Maybe he’d lost a boyfriend...but he’d gained seven new cousins, who he already knew and liked. That wasn’t a tradeoff he wanted, he’d have taken them as brothers-in-law, preferably, but...that was assuming he and Maedhros would’ve worked out in the long term anyway. He suddenly wasn’t so sure, if they were only one fight like this away from ending things.

God, he’d really been horrible. He needed to apologize, to beg for Maedhros back...because he wanted Maedhros back. He loved Maedhros. He needed him. Maybe it was fucked up, but even knowing they were technically cousins ( _step-cousins,_ he reminded himself), he still wanted him. He couldn’t bring himself to regret the time they’d had together, not even the sex.

When they saw him approach, Nerdanel and Maedhros both stood. Nerdanel touched her son’s arm briefly, then went back inside, leaving Maedhros and Fingon alone.

Fingon stopped a few feet from the porch. He tried to speak, but nothing came out.

Maedhros found his voice first. “Hey,” he said quietly, not quite meeting Fingon’s eyes.

“Hey,” Fingon echoed, not bothering to meet his, either.

Maedhros took a deep breath. “...Do you want to talk now?” he asked. “Or...wait?”

_Wait wait wait wait wait,_ the anxious part of him chanted, _put it off, don’t do it, never do it, just hide and move on and—_

“...Now is probably best,” he admitted, trying not to tremble. “I...don’t know if I could handle waiting.”

“Okay,” Maedhros said. He shuffled his feet. “D’you...wanna sit down?”

Fingon nodded jerkily, moving to sit beside his...beside Maedhros. He wanted to reach out, to clutch Maedhros close, to cry into his arms and kiss him, but he restrained himself. Maedhros probably didn’t want that right now. And in any case, they needed to talk first.

It felt like back in the early days of their relationship, with all the anxiety and constant checking in. Except the happy thrum of new love was absent, and only dread and longing remained.

“I’m sorry for getting so riled up,” Fingon blurted out. “I’m just...in shock, I guess. Not that that’s an excuse.”

“Me too,” Maedhros admitted. “I...talked to your parents. And my mom. I’m...weirdly glad she’s here? She and your dad are...good friends.”

“I know,” Fingon said, because he couldn’t think of anything else to say. “I know her. She’ll stop by every other year or so, say hello...”

“This is so weird,” Maedhros mumbled. “You’ve probably seen my mom more often than I have, since she left.”

Fingon flinched. “Fuck. That _is_ weird. I’m...sorry.” He couldn’t imagine not seeing his mom for years, only to find out she’d been visiting some other family more frequently. He’d listened to Maedhros talk about his family, how he missed his mother...and he’d never once thought that he’d somehow managed to steal her away.

“Don’t worry.” Maedhros shook his head. “About that, at least. Not your fault at all.”

“I don’t think this is anyone’s _fault_ , really,” Fingon sighed. “I shouldn’t have implied otherwise. Well. Except for...” He trailed off, not wanting to offend Maedhros even more.

“My dad?” Maedhros said wryly.

Fingon grimaced. “You said it, not me.”

“Look,” Maedhros said. “I love my dad. He’s a good father. A good person. But I know better than anyone that he’s...a lot. I told you that before you met him, remember? He’s got a short fuse, he holds grudges, he’s more passionate than is good for him sometimes. I’m not really surprised that he made...bad decisions, in his past.”

“I liked him,” Fingon admitted. “Before I knew he was the one who made my dad’s life a living hell when I was a kid.”

Maedhros clenched his jaw. Fingon wanted to scold him for holding tension there—he ground his teeth at night, he didn’t need to do it in the daytime, too—but he wasn’t sure if that intimacy was permissible, right now.

“It was hard for my dad, too,” Maedhros said, but he didn’t press the issue. “But...I talked with Nolo. Hearing his side of the story...changed things. I mean, I’m still on my dad’s side, you know?” he qualified. “But...yeah.”

“I get it.” And Fingon did. If their positions were reversed, he was sure that he, too, would be jumping to defend his father.

“And honestly, I don’t know if we...” Maedhros hesitated. “If we would ever have...you know. Been together, been _us_ , if we’d grown up together.”

_Us. Together._ Fingon shivered to hear him say that, and he _wanted_...but—

“God, Mae,” he whispered. “I don’t...can we still do this? Now that we know?”

“Finno...” Mae sounded sad, sounded resigned, and Fingon feared the worst.

“It’s tearing me up to think of—of ending things,” he confessed. “I don’t know how I’d handle it—I love you so much, _so much_ —but _fuck_ , Mae, we’re _cousins._ ”

Maedhros jerked his head up, a wild look in his eyes, and their gazes met for the first time since the conversation had begun. Fingon’s stomach flipped, his anxiety threatening to betray him in the worst possible way. He was glad they hadn’t eaten before this.

“Step-cousins,” Maedhros qualified, sounding almost...hopeful? “Third cousins.”

“I guess,” Fingon said, and why was he resisting now, when maybe, _maybe_ he could still have what he wanted? “But your dad and mine...”

“We’re bringing the family back together, I guess,” Maedhros muttered sarcastically.

Fingon snorted. He giggled. Before he knew it he was laughing, his whole body shaking, and Maedhros _smiled_ , and he fell in love all over again.

“Yeah,” he said when he got himself under control. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Finno, I...” Maedhros took a shuddering breath, reaching for his hands. Fingon couldn’t deny him that, not when he wanted so badly to touch him, to hold him. Maedhros’ large hands closed around his own, and he felt grounded, now, safe with him despite the circumstances.

“I love you,” Maedhros whispered. “So much. I don’t...if you can’t be with me anymore, I...I understand. But it might kill me to lose you. Not—not literally,” he added quickly, sensing Fingon’s distress before he could even say anything, “but...I love you so much. I think I’d fall to pieces without you. I was...fuck, Fin, I...” He closed his eyes, his voice going deep and ragged in a way that, coupled with his confession of undying love, stirred something in Fingon that really should’ve stayed quiet until they figured this all out.

“I just...I was finally in a place where I thought maybe I was safe,” Maedhros continued, “that maybe you really did love me, that maybe I—” his voice broke— “I deserved your love—”

Fingon couldn’t help his tears. “Baby, baby, shh,” he said, leaning in until their noses touched. “Baby, no, you _do_ deserve that, you always have, you always will.”

Maedhros turned his face aside. “Don’t say that if you don’t mean it,” he croaked.

Fingon reached up and took Maedhros’ face in his hands, turning him back so he couldn’t look away. “Listen, Maedhros,” he said, low and fierce. “I love you. That’s—that’s not what’s changed, okay? Never. _Never_. You think you’d fall apart without me? Well, I’d be lost without you. You’re—” He choked up. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m just worried...I was such an ass, Mae, do _I_ even deserve _you_?”

Maedhros let out a squeak of protest. “Fingon!” he exclaimed in a harsh whisper. “ _Of course you do_. I mean—” He contorted his face. “N-no, _fuck_ that. You _do_ deserve me, because I—I have love to give you, and you deserve all the love you can get, and m-my love isn’t...bad. You—taught me that, Finno. And it’s not fair to yourself to go and doubt your own love now.”

Fingon was so overcome with emotion that he was lost for words. He gave in to the need to hug Maedhros, pulling him close and crying into his shoulder. He felt Maedhros crying, too, and slowly, slowly, some of the awful tension eased out of him.

“I’m just worried about...our families,” Fingon whispered at last. “I mean...our family. Singular. I guess.”

“I want to keep trying,” Maedhros said, leaning back and pressing their foreheads together. “Your dad, my mom...they support us. And my dad...well, if it came down to it, I’d choose you over him.”

Fingon gasped, drawing back just a bit. “I could never ask you to—”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” Maedhros’ voice was firm. “Finno, I need you like I need the air I breathe. Losing Dad would hurt like hell, but I’d get through it. Losing you...I don’t know how I’d go on.”

“Would he really...?” Fingon wondered. He couldn’t imagine his own father cutting ties with him over anything.

“He did with Mom.” Maedhros sighed. “But...I don’t know. Maybe not. He already likes you? Maybe that will help?”

“I’ll stay,” Fingon decided, and the relief that he felt—that they _both_ felt—was immense, immediate. “I’ll stay, Mae. If you’re here for me, I’ll be here for you.”

“Can I kiss you?” Maedhros asked, just like in the early days. And in answer, Fingon kissed him, savoring the taste of him, wondering how he’d ever thought he could give this up.

“I'll stay,” Fingon whispered again between kisses. “Through thick and thin. Through the good and the bad. I love you so, so much.”

“I love you,” Maedhros breathed, and kissed him again. “I love you, Finno, I love you...”

“And I’ll be with you when you confront your dad,” Fingon added. “Okay? We’re in this together. Always.”

“Finno,” Maedhros sobbed quietly, and kissed him. “Finno. I—” But he couldn’t finish his sentence, pressing forward to kiss him again, and again, and again. “Finno.”

Fingon could listen to his boyfriend (his _boyfriend_ , even still!) say his name like that all the damn day. “Mae,” he croaked back, and worried at his boyfriend’s lower lip. “Maedhros. Mae.”

“I love you,” Maedhros said. “Thank you. Thank you so much. Finno, I love you, I’ll love you forever, I’m sorry for bringing up...what I did, back there, I knew it was a bad time...but I meant it. Never doubt that I meant it.”

Marriage. Right. That’s what he was referring to. Fingon swallowed. “I don’t think...we should rush into that,” he said. “But after all this, you should know that I...I feel the same. I love you. Always. Forever. Now just...isn’t the right time to...make it official.”

Maedhros nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed, “you’re right.” He pressed a kiss to Fingon’s neck, and Finno sighed, going limp in his embrace. “ _Thank you_ ,” Maedhros whispered again.

“Anything for you, baby,” Fingon said dreamily, giving in to what his body wanted at last.

But Maedhros, it seemed, wasn’t quite there yet. He disentangled them a bit, sitting back up and looking at him seriously. “Do you...want to talk some more?” he asked. “Go on a walk together? I thought maybe, if we needed, we could get a hotel...”

Fingon blinked. “Do we need to?” he said, surprised at the thought. “I mean...even before all this, I wasn’t exactly planning on boning down in my childhood bedroom...”

Maedhros huffed. “No, I mean—if you wanted some space from your family. Or from. You know. Me. I don’t...um...”

“I need you close,” Fingon told him. “And I want to salvage what we can from tonight.” He tilted his head, catching what Maedhros might have been implying. “Do you...not want to fuck anymore, now that you know we’re cousins?”

Maedhros hesitated, and Fingon’s stomach dropped. It seemed he’d been right. And of course that didn’t mean he’d change his mind, it never had before and it wouldn’t now, but...

“I—” Maedhros grimaced. “No, I do. Maybe that’s fucked up of me, but...”

“Third cousins,” Fingon reminded him. “That’s plenty far enough.” He snorted. “I’d even take second cousins. Anything for you.”

Maedhros laughed softly. “Okay, then. A little incest isn’t going to stop us, I guess.”

“As long as it’s just a little,” Fingon quipped.

“I’m...” Maedhros traced the line of Fingon’s jaw with one long finger. “Is...anything changing between us? At all?”

“No,” Fingon promised. “Unless...you have something you’d like to change...?”

Maedhros shook his head firmly. “I still want you. All of you.”

“And I want all of you.” Fingon couldn’t help but kiss him one more time. “The only thing that’s changing for me is that I love you even more. Every day I love you more.”

Maedhros blushed, leaning into Fingon’s touch. He turned even redder as he admitted, “I might...I’ll be honest, Finno, I might not want to, ah, ‘bone down’ for a bit? I’m... The sex repulsion, caedsexuality, whatever you wanna call it—it’s kind of rearing its ugly head again, now that it’s got new ammo.”

Fingon nodded. That was understandable. Honestly, he kind of felt a bit of the same way.

“But I don’t think that’ll be forever,” Maedhros assured him. “Sex with you...it’s been good. Really good. And I’m glad I’m in a place where I think it’ll be something I miss, while I deal with this.”

“That’s fine,” Fingon murmured. “I’ve told you a million times: I love you, I want you, I’m with you, sex or no sex.”

“Me too,” Maedhros said softly. “Anything for you.”

Fingon held him for a long moment, treasuring the wonderful, beautiful man in his arms, the incredible man that was _his_. But soon his stomach grumbled, and Maedhros’ echoed it, and they both laughed quietly.

“I can smell dinner,” he murmured. “My mom’s a great cook. Do you want to go inside...? You haven’t met my brothers yet. Aredhel’s still off the map on her wild adventure, but... Turno’s girlfriend is here.”

“Yeah,” Maedhros said, kissing him one last time. “Yeah, let’s go inside.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more of Aredhel’s wild adventure, check out the next fic in this series. (This is set a year into that story, about a month before Maeglin is born.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to call Fëanor. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fëanor stole Mae’s phone and changed his name to that; Mae just never bothered to change it back.

**Maedhros Smith:  
** hey dad. Is there a good time i can facetime you? We need to talk.

 **Best Dad EVER!!!:  
** I’m free this evening after 7. Is everything okay? You were going to meet Fingon’s family, right? Did it go badly?

 **Maedhros Smith:  
** It’ll be easier to talk when we call.  
Everything is...mostly fine, but yeah, it is about Fingon’s family

 **Best Dad EVER!!!:  
** I’m always here for you, son. Talk to you soon.

 **Maedhros Smith:  
** thanks, Dad

* * *

“You ready for this?” Fingon asked, and Maedhros grimaced.

“No,” he admitted. “But putting it off won’t make me more ready, so...”

Nerdanel patted him on the shoulder. “Nolo and I will be in the other room if you need us. If you think it’s a good idea for one or both of us to come in, just give a shout.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Maedhros leaned back, letting her kiss him on the forehead, beyond grateful she was here to support him. Even if this whole thing _was_ super, super weird.

Nerdanel closed the door quietly behind her. Maedhros took a deep breath, steeling himself for the stress that was sure to come.

“Your mom is so cool,” Fingon said. “I can’t believe I’ve known her longer than I even knew you.”

“I guess.” Maedhros shrugged. “I don’t know, she’s my mom, it’s hard to see her as...cool.”

“Fair.” Fingon nudged him. “But hey, you’re pretty cool too.”

“Um....thanks.” It was still hard not to give into the instinct to deny any positivity directed towards him, but Maedhros was trying.

“Alright,” he said, dialing his dad on the video call app. “Here goes nothing.”

It was only a few moments before Fëanor picked up. He smiled, his face just a little too close to the screen for comfort, but, well, that was just how he did video calls.

“Hey there, sport!” he exclaimed.

Maedhros rolled his eyes. “Since when do you call me ‘sport’?”

“Since right now!” Fëanor smirked, and Maedhros knew it would be awhile until he got bored of this new...nickname. “What’s up? Oh, hey there, Fingon.”

Fingon shifted next to Maedhros. They were in his childhood bedroom, sitting at the edge of the bed. In another scenario, Maedhros would be looking around at the posters and knick knacks and et cetera that his boyfriend had accumulated throughout his childhood and adolescence, trying to piece together an image of what Fingon was like before he knew him...but right now, there were more pressing issues at hand.

“Hi,” Fingon said.

There was an awkward pause. Fëanor looked at Maedhros expectantly. Right. They were talking for a reason.

“So, um,” he said, biting at his lip. “Gosh. I don’t know how to say this.” _Dad, I just had dinner with your estranged “evil” step-brother. Dad, Mom is here and she’s thriving without you. Dad, I fucked my cousin._

Okay. Maybe not that last one. Or any of them, really.

“Just shoot, Maedhros,” Fëanor encouraged. “Whatever it is, I want to know.”

Fingon laughed nervously. “I don’t think you actually do, sir.”

“There’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ Fingon,” Fëanor said generously, looking upon Maedhros’ boyfriend with approval for perhaps the very last time. “Just Fëanor will do.”

“Dad,” Maedhros tried again. “When I tell you what happened, do you...promise not to be upset?”

Fëanor frowned. “I can’t help that I react strongly sometimes.”

 _More like all the time,_ Maedhros did not say. He was known for his fiery outbursts, and Maedhros had needed to calm him down from them many times. Especially after Nerdanel left, and he was the only other adult in the household.

“But I’ll try to keep a cool head, okay?” Fëanor said.

Maedhros leaned into Fingon, drawing strength from his presence. Fingon was here, supporting him. He could do this.

“That’s probably as good as we’ll get,” he murmured for just his boyfriend to hear. Fingon nodded, squeezing his hand.

“Okay.” Maedhros turned back to his father. “Thanks. Um...” He _still_ didn’t know how to begin.

“Want me to say it?” Fingon offered.

Maedhros sighed. “Yeah, okay. I clearly am not able to...”

Fingon cleared his throat and looked directly into the camera. “Fëanor. You’re my uncle.”

Maedhros winced. That wasn’t exactly...tactful. Not that he would’ve done any better.

For a long moment, Fëanor just stared, his expression unreadable. Maedhros glanced between Fingon and his phone, gut churning with anxiety.

“Hm,” Fingon murmured. “That sounded better in my head.”

“ _What?!_ ” Fëanor spluttered at last, and Maedhros groaned. So much for controlling his outbursts.

“Dad, please,” he cajoled.

“Okay.” Fëanor sat back, rubbing his temples. “Okay. Okay.” He put his phone down heavily and stood up. “Okay. Give me a minute.” He walked away, and Maedhros heard his small personal fridge open, and something being poured into a glass. The clink of ice.

“Sorry,” Fingon whispered. “I suppose I could’ve softened the blow a bit.”

Maedhros rested his forehead on Fingon’s shoulder for a brief moment. “Nah, it’s alright. At least you said _something_. Who knows how long we’d have been making small talk if you left it up to me...”

Fëanor returned, holding a small clear glass that Maedhros hoped without any real hope contained water. The liquid was clear. It was possible. Unlikely, but possible.

Fëanor took a sip, then sighed. “I’m...your uncle.”

“My dad is Nolo Smith,” Fingon said bluntly.

“Mother _fucker_ ,” Fëanor growled.

“Uh,” Maedhros began, but Fëanor shook his head, leaning back, seemingly aware that might be going too far.

“That’s—no fucking wonder you looked familiar,” he groused. “You’ve got the same eyes as that—” He cut himself off, waving his hand and grimacing. Clearly he was restraining himself, probably for the sake of his promise to keep things...civil.

“There’s more...?” Maedhros said hesitantly, knowing it was only going to get worse.

Fëanor took another drink. “Of course there is.”

Maedhros steeled himself, then said, “...Mom’s here?”

“Of course she is.” Fëanor’s expression darkened. “Sleeping with my bastard step-brother—”

“ _Dad_.” This time when Maedhros said it, it wasn’t in the playfully embarrassed way he usually did when Fëanor made one insinuation too many about his sex life. He was angry, now, and surprised by it, on his mother’s behalf and on Nolo’s. He’d only known his...uncle for a few hours, but already he liked him immensely.

Maedhros grabbed Fingon by the arm, needing his support. Finno scooted closer, resting a hand on his thigh.

“Seriously,” Maedhros warned. “No. It’s not like that. Mom just...happened to be in town, and stopped by to have dinner with her friends.”

Fëanor wrinkled his nose, clearly unimpressed. Maedhros continued, “That’s completely normal. Not—not everything is about _you_!”

Fëanor sat upright. “Don’t take that tone with me, young man.”

Maedhros flinched. He hated whenever his dad did this, expressed any disapproval of him whatsoever. Maybe he was too sensitive, but he didn’t think so, not in this case.

“Dad, please,” he said, a little softer.

Fëanor drank again. It was definitely not water, Maedhros admitted to himself.

“Fine, fine, fine,” Fëanor grumbled. “Sorry. I did say I’d...try to keep myself under control.” He raised an eyebrow. “So. I assume you two are—no longer together?”

Maedhros didn’t exactly blame him for jumping to that conclusion, especially since they’d both very nearly jumped to it themselves, but he scowled all the same.

“No, we are,” Fingon said sharply.

“Yeah,” Maedhros agreed. “Estranged step-cousins isn’t...the kind of thing to break up over.”

“But dating _Nolo’s son—_!” Fëanor began, but Maedhros interrupted him.

“Dad, Nolo didn’t mean for all that to happen,” he insisted. “You should let it go, it’s been twenty years.”

“You sound just like your mother,” Fëanor growled.

“Good,” Finno snapped. “I like her better than you.”

Now Maedhros turned to Fingon in his distress. “Finno!”

“What?” Fingon crossed his arms. “Nerdanel’s great. She’s calm, and rational, and witty, and she doesn’t fly off the fucking handle—”

Maedhros recoiled. No, no, no, this—this wasn’t—this wasn’t supposed to be about picking sides, that was the whole _point_ —

“Finno, I think you should go,” he rasped.

Fingon shot to his feet. “Fine!”

“Please, Fin,” Maedhros begged, “I just—let me talk to Dad on my own for a bit?”

“Fine,” Fingon said coldly. He made for the door, and just before he left, Maedhros called out, “I love you!”

Finno paused. “Love you too,” he echoed, shoulders slumping, and then left.

“Shit,” Fëanor said with an explosive breath, and Maedhros turned back to glare at him.

“Yeah,” he said stiffly.

Fëanor swirled the drink in his glass. “You can’t seriously—”

“Dad, _I’m in love with him,_ ” Maedhros hissed. “I can. Seriously.”

“He—!”

“Until five minutes ago you liked Finno too!” Maedhros exclaimed. “Why does this change anything?”

“ _Nolo ruined my life._ ” Fëanor’s words were growing less and less steady, but only increasing in their passion. “He took my job—he took my _wife_! Our family, _my_ family—we could’ve been great, Maedhros, _great_ —I could’ve done _so much_ in that position, with that _funding_ —”

“It was an _accident_ ,” Maedhros said. “And you know it.” He shook his head. “God, Dad, I love you, but you make it really hard sometimes.”

Fëanor’s whole demeanor changed at that. His shoulders slumped, and he took a shuddering breath.

“Mae,” he rasped, “I’ll always love you. Which is why I’m telling you—there’s a reason I took you and your brothers away from that rat’s nest.”

“Away from Grandpa Finwë, too?” Maedhros challenged.

Another spark flashed in Fëanor’s eyes. “He’d’ve come with us if it hadn’t been for that _bitch_ —”

Maedhros knew he meant Indis, and though he’d never met the woman, he wouldn’t let this stand. “Don’t talk about my boyfriend’s grandmother that way.”

Fëanor glared at him, and Maedhros glared right back. He felt his world crumbling around him—he’d hoped he could make it out of this with a boyfriend and a father and even a new extended family, but...

“Look, Dad,” Maedhros sighed. “If you’re just gonna rage, I’m gonna hang up. I already told Maglor. He’s on my side, and I bet most of my brothers will be too. Mom and Nolo are on my side. I’ve got plenty of support. I...I don’t want to fight you, but I’m not leaving Fingon, not ever. And I _like_ his family. _Our_ family, weird as it is.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Fëanor muttered.

“And whose fault is that?” Maedhros challenged.

Fëanor closed his eyes. After a moment, he tilted back his head and drained the rest of his glass, setting it down on his desk with a _clink_.

“I don’t want to choose between my dad and the love of my life,” Maedhros whispered. “Please don’t make me.”

“You’d choose him over me,” Fëanor rumbled. “Your own father.”

“I don’t want to.”

“But you would.”

Maedhros closed his eyes, then nodded jerkily. “Yeah. Probably.”

Fëanor sighed. “Then I’ve already lost you.”

“ _Dad_ ,” Maedhros said again, frustrated by his unwillingness to even _try_.

“Fine,” Fëanor snapped. He paused for a breath, then continued, his voice a bit more even-toned: “Look, I won’t say a word. I mean...I’ll try not to. Stay with him if you must. But don’t get me involved with _them_ again.”

Maedhros hesitated. Honestly, he didn’t think he’d get a better deal from him. It wasn’t what he wanted, but...

“Alright,” he said heavily. “I’ll take it.”

“I love you,” Fëanor said, his voice rough.

Maedhros gave him a half-smile. “I love you too.”

“And—” Fëanor swallowed. “I’m proud of you.”

Maedhros just stared. _That_ was the last thing he expected to hear from his dad tonight! Praise of this kind was rare enough from him, and in the past week since his graduation he’d already been overwhelmed with fatherly affection. He’d thought for sure that this fiasco would signal the end of that particular theme.

“For graduating,” Fëanor explained. “And for...finding someone you’ll fight for. Even if the person you’re fighting against is me. For being your own man.”

“Dad...” Maedhros blinked hard, trying not to cry.

“I mean it,” Fëanor insisted, and he was getting teary-eyed too. Ah. Yes. He was drunk, that explained it. “I want you to trust me, believe me—of course I want that. But you’re—you’re brilliant, Maedhros, you’ve got a mind of your own...”

“Is this a bad time to tell you I’m considering switching career paths?” Maedhros wondered aloud.

“You don’t want to be a doctor anymore?!”

Maedhros sighed. “To be honest, I don’t think I ever did. I just...thought I should.” _But if I’m my own man..._

Fëanor stared at him for a moment, then grunted. “One thing at a time, son. Let me...let me stress over your boyfriend being your...step-cousin, from _Nolo_ of all people, and then... Maybe in a month or two I can badger you about your career.”

Maedhros let out a hollow laugh. “I’ve never seen you this...transparent about your intentions.”

Fëanor raised his empty glass. “I’m getting drunk. And I’m torn, Mae.” He shook his head. “On one hand, I’m fucking enraged. On the other...I’m relieved. This was going to happen someday, I suppose. And you already know what you’re going to do. No point in...fighting you. Even if I am upset.”

Maybe he wasn’t such a lost cause, after all. Maedhros tugged at a strand of his hair, wondering.

“Dad,” he said at last, “you should talk to Nolo sometime. And—maybe Mom, too.”

“No. Absolutely not.” Fëanor’s voice was firm despite his inebriated state.

“They’d listen,” Maedhros said. “Well...Nolo would.”

“I don’t want anything to do with him,” Fëanor insisted.

“Okay,” Maedhros said. “But if you change your mind, just let me know.”

“I _won’t_.”

Maedhros schooled his features into a neutral expression. He had a new goal, now, but he couldn’t let Fëanor know that...yet. “Okay.”

Fëanor clenched his jaw mulishly, then rubbed at his face. “Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Maedhros agreed. “Nothing is simple in this family, apparently...”

“You know my father and Nolo’s are cousins?” Fëanor checked.

“Which makes Finno and I third cousins,” Maedhros said. “Yeah. We know.”

“Third cousins,” Fëanor mused. “Well, I don’t think that really counts as incest.”

“Neither do we,” Maedhros said. “And it’s not like we were raised together, so being step-cousins isn’t _that_ weird, either.”

“It’s weird,” Fëanor disagreed, “but hey. If I hadn’t taken you boys away from there, you’d’ve grown up together, and then you would never have jumped each other’s—”

“ _Dad_!” Maedhros yelped, and now they were back to more familiar territory.

(And...honestly...Maedhros didn’t know what this said about him, but...he might’ve, even if he’d grown up knowing Fingon. Maybe even if Nolo was Finwë’s biological son, and Finno his...half-cousin? He just...couldn’t imagine a life without Fingon at his side.

Well. That hadn’t happened. It never could. Whatever. He wouldn’t lose sleep over it.)

“Just...don’t blame me for all of this,” Fëanor said tiredly.

“I can’t help but blame you for some of it,” Maedhros pointed out.

“It’s not my fault alone.” Fëanor grimaced. “Even if he _does_ think it was an accident.”

Maedhros pinched the bridge of his nose. “Dad, I really admire you. You know that, right?” He didn’t wait for his father’s response. “You’re practically a mad scientist. Which, sometimes I see the mad more than the scientist, but...I’m not going to throw away everything I love about you because of this.”

“I appreciate that,” Fëanor said roughly. “More than you can know.”

“And I appreciate you not disowning me,” Maedhros joked drily.

Fëanor sat bolt upright. “Maedhros! I would _never_!”

Maedhros smiled at him, a real smile. He knew his dad loved him, but...knowing that he’d always have a place in his father’s house, no matter what, reassured him deeply.

“We’ll get through this,” Maedhros promised. “Me and Finno. Me and you.” He hesitated, then added, “You and Nolo.”

“Not that last one,” Fëanor said darkly.

“We’ll see.”

There was a bark from another room in Fëanor’s home—Huan. Fëanor turned to glare at the door, as if that would do anything, and then shook his head.

“Alright,” he said. “I’m halfway there already, but I’m gonna go get shitfaced and call old Rúmil at the lab.”

Maedhros frowned. It was Friday night. “Don’t you have to pick the twins up from soccer practice?”

“Celegorm takes them,” Fëanor dismissed. “All that barking is that dog getting upset he left to get them.”

“Okay,” Maedhros said. “As long as they get home, and you don’t drink and drive.”

“That’s my son,” Fëanor chuckled, and if Maedhros had been there in person, he was sure his father would’ve reached up to muss his hair. “So responsible.”

Maedhros rolled his eyes. Well, someone in that madhouse had to be, especially after Nerdanel left. “Bye, Dad. Love you.”

“Love you too, Mae,” Fëanor said, and then hung up.

Mae tossed his phone down on Fingon’s bed, then laid back, letting the tension ease out of him. It was over. He’d done it.

Now he had to go tell the others.

When he entered the next room, Fingon, Nerdanel, and Nolo all looked up expectantly. Maedhros let out an explosive breath, then said, “Well. That could’ve been...much worse.”

“Could’ve been better,” Fingon muttered.

Maedhros inclined his head. “That too.”

Fingon looked at him, then stepped over to embrace him. Maedhros held him close, breathing in the smell of him, clinging to him tightly. He was never, ever letting Fingon go, not for anything.

“What did he say?” Nolo asked when they’d broken apart. Well, not really; Fingon still had an arm wrapped around Maedhros.

“He’s upset,” Maedhros said. “But he’s not going to...do anything about it.” With the hand that wasn’t clutching Fingon’s waist, he scratched at his head. “He...said he was proud of me? For finding someone worth fighting for. And having my own mind.”

“He...said that?” Nerdanel asked, a strange expression on her face.

“Yeah.”

Nerdanel furrowed her eyebrows. “Huh.”

“He’s still pissed, though,” Maedhros said. “And...well, he started drinking as soon as we broke the news.”

“Hmm,” Nerdanel said, a hint of iron creeping into her voice.

“I’m proud of you, too,” Nolo said. “Both of you.”

Fingon looked up at him sheepishly. “Sorry for getting upset again.”

“No, it was entirely reasonable.” Maedhros kissed the top of his head, wondering at the way Fingon fit so perfectly in his arms, head tucked just beneath his chin.

“If only you’d been old enough to be the diplomats when things broke bad the first time...” Nolo mused. He sighed. “Well, no. It wouldn’t have been fair to have dragged you into your fathers’ quarrel.”

Maedhros shook his head. “I don’t think I did that well.”

“Babe,” Fingon chided. “You did great. And hey!” He nudged him playfully. “We did it! We’re getting through this!”

“There’s more to go,” Maedhros warned. “You know that, right? As long as we’re together, we’ll have to deal with this in some way.”

Fingon pulled him down for a kiss, soft and sweet. “I know,” he murmured. “But for you, it’s worth it.”

“Awww,” Nerdanel gushed in the way only moms could. “Let me snap a picture! Russ can put it up on his wall with the one of you two as kids!”

“ _Mom_ ,” Maedhros groaned, taking the same tone he usually did with his dad.

Fingon only laughed, tugging him down for another kiss. “C’mon, Mae—say cheese!”

Begrudgingly, Maedhros obliged, and heard the click of Nerdanel’s phone camera. Great, now he really _would_ have to put this on his wall. Well...it wasn’t like looking at him and Fingon together and happy would be much of a chore.

“You know,” Fingon murmured, arms wrapped tight around him, “we’ve got a lifetime of catching up to do.”

Maedhros’ heart warmed, and he kissed his boyfriend one more time. “As long as it’s a lifetime together,” he said softly, “I’ll be happy. I always will, with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IDK what Fëanor’s job was then and is now, but definitely something sciencey and innovative. He could’ve created the Silmarils if Nolo hadn’t “ruined his life,” for all I know!!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with this series thus far! There is still more to come :) Next up is more of Aredhel’s story, though I don’t know when that will be up, I have lots of other WIPs. Subscribe to the series to get notified!

**Author's Note:**

> I am very intentionally leaving the details of the Incident vague. I don’t particularly know them, and I don’t think it’s all that important. What matters is the fallout.  
> 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and please comment if you enjoyed!  
> You can find me on tumblr [@arofili](http://arofili.tumblr.com/).


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